


Maybe You Just Missed the Sun

by oxymoronassoc



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 09:29:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxymoronassoc/pseuds/oxymoronassoc
Summary: Circa 207 "Captain's Hand"Originally written 3-2-2006





	Maybe You Just Missed the Sun

_your boy is like a memory  
some sense of touch and a melody  
your girl, she's a renegade  
a hurricane that keeps you there, safe  
you're cold, maybe you just missed the sun  
you fall, feeling like its just begun _

 

Kara stays with him awhile longer, watching him pack, arms strung back through the rails of the bunk before she sits down backwards in a chair, arms resting on the top of the back, chin on her hands. He glances at her from time to time, wondering what she's thinking.

"I have to go watch the nuggets land," she tells him finally, standing and smiling softly at him. It's a shy sort of smile he's not used to seeing. Lee wonders if he's imagining the glint of mischief in her eyes. "I'll come back…to see you off."

He nods, wishing she'd stay with him, but he has things to do in the small amount of time he has left on Galactica. His departure is timed; pomp and ceremony for the rebel son sent off to his new position. He stares down into her hazel eyes, wondering what they're saying because he's suddenly unable to read her. "Remember, I won't be around to bail you out of hack, Captain."

"Shut up," she says and her voice sounds thick, like it stuck in her throat. 

They embrace again and he whispers into her hair, but she doesn't hear him. He doesn't want her to. She gives him a mocking salute and hurries out. 

He picks up the wrapped box from where it sat on top of his neatly folded clothing. He sighs; this isn't something he wants to do, but he feels it best. Leaving his things neatly packed on the table, he goes out to find Dee.

"I'm sorry," he says and she smiles at him in a sad way that says she knows what he's going to say. She holds the box of chocolates close to her chest and he wonders if it's shield. 

"It's okay," she tells him. "I understand."

"It's just that I'll be gone and you have your duties and I have mine…I don't want to trap you."

"It's okay," she says again, rising on tiptoe to press a gentle kiss to his mouth. "I understand. It had to end someday. I just wish it wasn't now. Congratulations Commander." 

He nods and they kiss again and it's gentle and warm and sweet and all Lee can think about is Kara watching him pack with her sad eyes. He feels guilty, but Dee takes his distance as a sign of his preoccupation with leaving. 

"Good luck," she tells him.

"You too." He leaves without a backwards glance. 

He hurries down the familiar corridors, bags in hand, pressed for time to meet his Raptor. He slows his pace as he hits the flight deck, smiling and shaking his head at the assembly there. Pilots in dress blues and grey-brown flight suits salute him as do the orange suited deck crew. He feels a pang, like when he'd first left home for the academy, and he knows he will miss this makeshift family. 

He salutes them back, still smiling even if it's technically against protocol. Their faces dissolve into smiles and someone takes his bag as he's swarmed with well-wishes and goodbye gifts. When he finally manages to make it to the Raptor, he sees that his father and Tigh have been watching. He salutes his father and the Colonel. His father hauls him in for an awkward but sincere embrace.

"Touching," he hears the pilot say and he stares at Kara. "Are you ready, sir?" she asks him with an impish grin. 

Lee suppresses his smile but it shows around the edge of his mouth anyway. "When you are, Captain." 

The trip over is smooth and silent and Lee wonders how Kara got attached to this duty. Had she asked or had his father called in a favor? Either way, he's glad it's her. 

When they land, his pilots and deck crew and officers are waiting. There's no smiling now, just salutes and line after line of blank faces. Lee feels suddenly alone until he hears Kara step out of the Raptor, too late to salute. He'd bet his last pair of clean socks she did it on purpose. She's carrying his bags and making a face at all the stuff. 

She helps him carry it to his new quarters and no one comments on this irregular occurrence. They've learned to whisper about Apollo and Starbuck out of hearing range, especially now that he's a commander. He escorts her back to the flight deck and they stand in front of the Raptor for a long time, just staring at each other silently.

"Well," she finally says, rubbing the back of her neck and looking at the floor before glancing up at him. "Good luck, Lee."

"You too. If there's ever anything…just ask." 

She laughs, pushing him playfully. "No, flyboy, you forget all about me. Go on with your new life." She holds her hand out to him for the second time that day and he takes it. They shake.

"Be safe," he tells her and he really wants to say "I love you", but he can see that they're being watched. "Be safe." 

She stares at him in a way that says she's understood and isn't sure she wants to, but Racetrack is calling her name and, before he knows it, he's alone.

 

 

 

His new quarters seem lush and opulent compared to the Senior Officer's Rack. They're also silent and lonely. Lee wonders if any fish have survived; maybe he can pull some strings and get one. At least it would be better company than his endless piles of paperwork and restless nights. 

He has his own bathroom now, too, and the water's always hot and the tiles always clean and he's never going to walk in on his pilots, but it's lonely too. The towels are big and fluffy, which he enjoys for a few days before missing the gentle ribbing and long-standing pranks of whomever thought trading his towels out for tiny ones was funny. 

His XO is a no-nonsense man and Case is efficient, but neither is friendly. There's no one to laugh with or to make impossible battle moves or to relax with. He feels like he's constantly on edge, as if his each and every mistake is being recorded by a silent and disapproving judge. 

The days go by quickly and without incident and Lee wonders if there's someone looking out for him or if he's just fracking lucky. He's sure Kara prayed for him. She always did it when she thought no one was around, and, while he never really believed, it always made him feel a little better.

Then it all goes to hell and he loses five pilots and the ship takes heavy damages. Each soul weighs heavily on his heart and he feels them bearing down, an unbearable weight. Dee was right, it never got easier. He knows he's not going to be able to sleep; that he'll see their faces in his dreams and wake up in a cold sweat, so he goes to the gym and hopes that he can exhaust himself instead.

When he's done, his arms feel numb and his shirt is soaked with sweat and he can still hear their voices abruptly silenced forever. It never got better. He turns the water in his shower on as hot as he can bear and it beats down over his aching body, lulling him into a hazy state. He feels like he's drowning again, dragging the pilots down with him, dragging Dee, dragging Kara. They all go so silently and serenely and he turns the water off abruptly. 

Cold air hits him and he shivers, reaching for a towel only to find them gone. Lee frowns and opens the cupboard, taking a regulation white towel from the small stack. He unfolds it and wraps it around his hips. The sides barely meet.

"Kara," he says, her name coming out like a curse. The he smiles and begins to laugh and can't stop for a long time. "Fracking Kara." He shakes his head and wonders how she did it, how she knew. 

When he finally retires to his bunk, he dreams of a warm summer day and mischievous hazel eyes.


End file.
